During a season of blessings...

In Praise of Home Schooling

My wife and I thought we might remember people we had not thought of in a while during this season of blessings. Among those to whom we sent greetings was "Ms. Bonnie," our first teaching mentor when we made the decision to home school our son. Although the Oak Meadow program has moved from Blacksburg, Virginia to Brattleboro, Vermont, I managed to find the address through an on-line people search. In my note to Ms. Bonnie, I thanked her for supporting our choice and ensuring us that we had the tools necessary to teach our own child because who knows the child any better than a parent does. The Oak Meadow curriculum is Waldorf-based and relies on the natural ability of the child to set the pace as he or she naturally blossoms.

We made mistakes along the way I suppose, but I can turn and look at my adult son today and marvel at his accomplishments, particularly at his thirst for knowledge and the self-discipline he evinces as he engages in his quest to know more. What a comfort it is as a parent to believe that, given your resources and abilities at the time, you did your very best by your child. The key benefits of home schooling for us were Josh learned about making choices and setting goals for himself. The decision also meant Josh was never forced to grow up too fast.

Our greatest fear as parents was letting public education loose on his head and heart, cookie-cutting him into some image of what all children his age should be. The attitude that a child can and should be molded and modeled is transmitted into the belief system of so many public school parents. "No Child Left Behind" is, in my opinion, an empty, political slogan. Teachers spend an inordinate amount of time teaching to the test rather than assuring that each child receives the individualized attention necessary to respond to a multitude of learning modalities. I was not an education major in college, yet I can see these things so clearly. Witness my own experiences in higher education. I read the files of incoming freshmen in an attempt to run interference for those who enter at-risk for persisting. I have a student now who took the ACT at least six times bringing his composite score from an 18 to a 32. The highest score afforded him a lovely scholarship. Did the test really speak to his abilities as a young scholar? No. Rather, it made a comment on his ability to take standardized tests. His collegiate record has been dismal: probation, suspension, suspension overridden by the administration because of extenuating circumstances, probation, and now suspension again. Did anyone ever take the man by the hand and say "What is it you want out of life? How can I help make this happen for you? How do you learn best? What really interests you? How do you enjoy yourself?" Do our schools ever ask this of the children for whom they are responsible? Are parents asking this of their children? Parents are at a unique advantage for they know, almost by instinct, many of the answers to these questions. The disadvantage for the parents is when they believe both must work to generate the income that permits them to have the possessions society has dictated are necessary for "success" or "happiness." When both parents absent themselves from the life of the child, there is a void in that youngster that will be filled. Can the parents really trust what's replacing their love and guidance? Only if they stay in a deep relationship with their sons and daughters. Not everyone can or should home school, but all parents can take the responsibility for learning on a daily basis what is going on in the lives of their children.

My wife sent me an article the other day commenting on a study concerning the decline in adult literacy. Shortly after forwarding that to the faculty and staff mentors with whom I work, I read a blog that commented on the study. The subject's heading was "Johnny's dad can't read, either." Teaching theatre and art as I do, sometimes I'll ask students to read aloud from texts in class. I'm always hopeful that hearing the words in a voice other than my own will, somehow, bring the material to life and, perhaps, help the students take ownership of the material. In recent years, the experience of hearing most of these students read aloud has been painful and an unfortunate testimony to the fact that they were not read to as children; certainly not with any frequency. You learn inflection by hearing it. One of the most frequent complaints I have of our wave of information technology and the rapidity with which we communicate through email is the lack of inflection in these written words. But if you read poetry and fiction rich in dialogue, you can't help but hear the inflection in the author's choice of language and meter even in the uneven rhythms of prose. Children must hear the language(s) and voices cuddled next to their parents, siblings, or immediate relatives if they are to grow up as effective communicators. That's my belief. I'm certain there must be some scholars out there to back me up. Perhaps one day I'll find them, if called on the carpet over this. But here I am, trusting my gut as usual: rarely does the instinct let me down. I suppose I do have empirical evidence: my own child. That's enough for me.